Crabbing with the cousins

My name has been mud for the last week, after Luke missed out on a Beavers badge. The night before I went into Addies for my desense, they were supposed to go crabbing with their packs, which was the last activity for the Adventure badge, so Luke didn't get his. I promised I would take him crabbing at the first opportunity and take some photos for his pack leader, to see if that will suffice. Today, we hit Frinton beach with Granny and the Davo cousins. 

Hauling him in

Luke and his crab

It all turned out to be toooo much excitement for the smallest member of the party, who fell asleep in Granny's lap. 

Thinking deep thoughts

So, in typical fashion, I've been quiet and not blogging. Going back to work has been a blast and I am very happy I made the step. Dan has settled into preschool, the boys are largely oblivious to my working, everyone's happy.

 I had my aspirin desensatisation at the beginning of June, which seems to be going well, so far. I go back this week for a check up. I have regained some sense of smell, some of the time, which is a good result and I am hopeful of it sticking around.

 So, the deep thoughts....a little while ago, I read reports of a parliamentary enquiry into body image. There were some people and companies I had heard of giving evidence and as a woman who struggles with my weight and all the body image and self esteem stuff that goes along with it, I found it really interesting. Following some of the newspaper links led me to a website called F*ck the Diets. I signed up for her weekly emails, which increasingly feel like they might be coming straight from my unconscious. This weeks squirmy, wiggly thought - why haven't I liked the FtD FB page? My straight off the bat answer would be that I am a 'churchy' type, I even work in my church's office, with lots of churchy friends and am afraid of people being offended by seeing the title in my newsfeed. That is *partly* true, but I think also it's true that a bit of me feels that the 300-odd people on my FB will see it, snort and say to themselves "think you already did, love, seen the size of your bum recently?".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not considering a mindset that says I'm just going to carry on eating with the aim of looking like Jabba the Hutt (and hush to that internal critic who's muttering that I already do). I'm just - well, I don't know what I'm "just". Being kinder to myself, accepting myself as I am and realising that traditional dieting is not dealing with the reason I am fat. Time to dust off the Susie Orbach, I think.

Hi ho, hi ho.....

It's off to WORK I go!

I have a job, working 6 hours a week in our church office, starting tomorrow. I hoped 2012 would be the year I got back to work and although April is a little sooner than I expected, the chance to work in the church office was too good to miss. In the last few years I have seen several jobs advertised there, but it's never been quite the right time to apply, until now. Dan started at preschool two weeks before the holiday and has settled in beautifully. It's all come together so easily, it's been a real God thing,

I'm so excited. Being a SAHM has been great (and let's face it, working 6 hours a week, I still pretty much am a SAHM), I have cherished the time at home and am grateful to have had it as a choice, but I am ready to be something else too. :-)

Silent (Mothering) Sunday

Smelling salts

I realise I haven't updated about my surgery in January.

I went to Addenbrookes to see Dr McKiernon and he operated on me, performing my third polypectomy. The operation itself went really, really smoothly. I had been rather dreading it, as I had a horrible recovery from my second operation, but perhaps that was more related to the breaking and resetting of my septum. That was not in itself a success and Colchester had warned me it would need redoing, but Mr McK didn't find that necessary. The post operative packing was also completely different, as Addenbrookes use gel packs which dissolve over time, much nicer than having yards of gauze up there! I must also give huge credit to the use of post op homeopathics, I've never had such a smooth come round from a general anaesthetic before.

ENT reviewed me two weeks post surgery and signed me off. I feel loads better now the polyps are out, but as of yet haven't regained my sense of smell. This did happen after the last two surgeries, but I suspect that was due to the accompanying courses of steroids. I am currently taking a mad combination of tablets, from suggestions on two boards I read, one for those sensitive to salicylates and another for people with Samter's. It has been good to connect with other people in the same boat, as it can be very frustrating living with something that doesn't have a cure at this time. In June I go back to Addenbrookes for an aspirin desensitisation, which should hopefully slow the polyp regrowth and may even help me to regain some sense of smell.

Anyway, quite enough about the state of my sinuses. I must go and swish them out with salt water before I take Dan out to toddler group, my weekly exercise in humility.

Bread & butter

For Lent, the boys and I have agreed to pray together every night and name something we are thankful for. I was thinking about it this morning, as I put the yeast, flour and other ingredients into the breadmaker and tonight, I'm going to say thank you for bread.



As I am on an exclusion diet, I make all our bread, so I am very thankful also for the breadmaker, which makes it considerably easier. Today, I also used the Kenwood mixer and made the butter in the photo, another job I would not enjoy having to do by hand. I don't usually make the butter, but the mummy board I read has been talking about it recently, so I thought I'd give it a go. I now also have buttermilk....scones call, or maybe soda bread.

A new church hall

Last night, we went to church to celebrate practical completion and the handing over of keys to our new church hall. This church hall has been a long time in the planning. When Jack was baptised in July 2004, Bob, our late vicar told the congregation, with some glee, what Tiff did for a living, as the seed of the plan was already hatching. In Oct 2005, when I had Luke, Tiff came to see us in hospital on the Friday night for about five minutes, before heading off for a church hall related meeting. When we shut the old hall up and prayed over the site in February last year, Luke, then five, said "but I don't want you to knock the old hall down, I love it". Like most of the church family, we had spent happy times in it, but it was time to let it go and grasp a bigger vision.

Last night, we finally got to walk around inside our new hall and give thanks to God for it. Of course, the church is not a building, it is the people and Bishop Stephen reminded us of this, urging us to consider the building as a tent, a sacrament and a servant. His talk will be available on the church website shortly and is well worth a listen.

Half term

Half term has been and gone, it's Sunday night. I've made the lunches, packed the PE kits and the book bags, written the cheques and set the alarm. We had a lovely week, over too soon. The SSOH has been crazy busy at work and didn't manage a day off, which was a bit of a blow, but this weekend has been a good one. I can't believe we are about to start the second half of the school year - goodness.

Blog, not clean

I absolutely love Hyperbole and a Half. This afternoon I have 'CLEAN ALL THE THINGS' running through my head, for a number of reasons. Firstly, we took Christmas down yesterday and I can see some surfaces. Secondly, today the sun is shining, so I can see all the dust and the many fingerprints and thirdly, my Mum is staying next week while I am in Addenbrookes for surgery. So I'm blogging until the urge passes.

Oops, editing to add, the blog title is a pathetic attempt at a play on words. I am blogging, not cleaning but please also be aware that the brilliant HAAH does have a tiny bit of 'language', mostly with a @ or a ! inserted somewhere, but possibly not suitable for easily offended eyes. :-)

Happy New Year!

I nearly called this hopeless, in reference to my apparent inability to blog more than a couple of times a year.

So, 2012. The year Tiff singlehandedly accommodates all the Olympic athletes, as well as turning 40. Dan will start preschool (I do most sincerely hope) and I might venture back into the world of work. Voluntary work, I think, let's start slowly. Finally, 2012, the year I either find a pattern and a reason for blogging, a voice as it were, or the year I stop.....watch this space. Xx